my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
