Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
