Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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