is your mom at the bar?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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