can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
