His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
