I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
