just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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