Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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