this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
