do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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