How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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