He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
