Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
