Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
