dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
