Porn is love you can see.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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