A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize