Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
