there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
