she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
