last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
