He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
