I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
