I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
