Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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