Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who did Billy Mays play for?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
