weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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