I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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