How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
