ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
