You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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