Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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