i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
