dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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