this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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