Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
