I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
