He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
