Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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