i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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