just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
