Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
