at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
