at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
