Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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