I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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