This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
