On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You need a sexual gate keeper
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
