So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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