we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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