They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
