VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
