you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
