her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
