So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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