i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
