It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
