Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
