remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Terrible idea I love it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize