My sheets look like a crime scene.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
