She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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