We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All the doctor said was why
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
